Meet the Steilens
All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time, it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Steilen family, and Rei Pan chose this particular house because there were people and animals who believed in him. There was Mrs. Steilen. In the bathroom of the corner house, there was a German woman with curly black hair and brown eyes, wearing a blue dress with a yellow skirt, a white collar and petticoat, and tan pumps with yellow bows. Her name was Snow White. And she was busy fixing her hair in front of the mirror for a ball. "Tulio dear, do hurry," Snow White called out. "We mustn't be late for the party, you know." Mrs. Steilen believed that Rei Pan was the spirit of youth. But Mr. Steilen... In the bedroom, there was a Mexican man with tan skin, black ponytailed hair (tied by a purple band) and goatee, stubble, and blue eyes, wearing a blue shirt with rolled-up sleeves, green pants, and brown shoes. His name was Tulio, Snow White's husband. And he was looking for his gold cuff links through some drawers. "Snow White, unless I find my cuff links, we don't go to the party," Tulio called back. "And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in Mexico again. And if I can never--" Unfortunately, he got cut off by bumping his head on the open top drawer. "OUCH!" cried Tulio, as he hopped around, holding his head. Well, Mr. Steilen was a practical man. The boys, however, young Simba and Flower, believed Rei Pan was a real person and made him the hero of all their nursery games. In the nursery, we see two shadows fighting each other with toy swords. One has one in its left paw and a hanger in its right while the other has a toy sword in its right paw. One of the shadows belonged to an 8-year-old yellow lion cub with ruby eyes, wearing a white nightshirt, black glasses, and a black top hat. His name was Simba, Tulio and Snow White's son. And he was the one with the hanger in his right paw and the sword in his left. The other shadow belonged to a 3-year-old black and white skunk wearing turquoise footy pajamas. His name was Flower, Simba's little brother and Tulio and Snow White's other son. And he was the one with the sword in his right paw. "Blast you, Rei Pan!" Simba said in a scary voice. Flower bonked his brother on the head twice with his sword. "Take that!" he cried. Then he and Simba blocked their toy swords together. "Give up, Professor Ratigan?" he smirked, "Give up?" "Never!" called Simba. Then he opened a drawer that was underneath Flower's pajama-clad feet with the hanger, and he fell in as Simba yelled, "I'll teach you to cut off me hand!" Just about then, a 14-year-old girl with blonde hair tied in a ponytail and blue eyes walked in. She was wearing a purple bikini and a matching skirt with green panties, along with a squirrel tail and a pink flower on her hair. Her name was Kilala Reno, Tulio and Snow White's daughter and Simba and Flower's big sister. She was also carrying a jug. "Oh no, Simba," Kilala giggled. "It was the left hand." "Oh, yes. Thank you, Kilala." said Simba, as he switched the hanger from his right paw to his left and the sword from his left paw to his right. Kilala Reno, the eldest, not only believed. She was the supreme authority on Rei Pan and all his marvelous adventures. While Kilala was in the hallway, she sighed as she talked to three figures, "Oh, Tippe, Timon, Pumbaa. Must we always take that nasty tonic?" "Yes, you have to." said a voice. The figures walked out to reveal a pink flying mouse named Tippe, a beige meerkat with a peach underbelly and palms, brown fingers, brown ears, wide bulging eyes, and red hair named Timon, and a crimson warthog with a long tail, a black mane, white tusks, four slender legs, black hooves, and a large pink snout named Pumbaa. Tippe was carrying a tray of three spoons and a bottle of tonic for Kilala, Simba, and Flower. Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa the butlers, being a flying mouse, a meerkat, and a warthog, kept their opinions to themselves. "We do not!" Timon insisted after Tippe and Pumbaa walked over a pillow. And they viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance. Tippe put the tray on a small table. Then he went over to the pillow to pick it up while Simba and Flower were still playing. "Take that!" Flower called. Simba and Flower played around, hopping around the beds. "Insolent boy, I'll slash you to ribbons!" Simba yelled. Tippe went to the bed, placed the pillow there, and fixed up the sheets and blanket up. "And I'll cut you to pieces!" Aha!" Flower called. As he hit Simba, the lion cub yelped in pain. "Ouch! Careful, Flower, my glasses!" "I'm sorry, Simba." Flower said. Then Pumbaa picked up two blocks and went to the other blocks. Simba and Flower hopped back to the bed, messing it up again. "Ah! You'll never leave this ship alive!" Simba shouted. So both of them bounced up and down as the pillow fell off again. "Oh yes, I will," Flower shouted back. "Take that!" When Pumbaa placed the ABC on the top, he, Tippe, and Timon quickly turned as they realized that Pumbaa had made a mistake. He got them to BAC. "Oops," said Pumbaa. "I got A and B backwards." So he took the A block, moved the B block, and placed it to the first. He and the others smiled and walked to the tonic for the kids. "Scuttle me bones, boy! I'll slit your gizzard!" Simba yelled, as he stabbed as his wooden sword. It ripped through the sheets. Then Pumbaa poured on the spoons. "Oh, no, you won't," Flower cried. "Back! Back! Back, you villain!" As they moved through the sheets, he pushed his wooden sword against Simba's. "Insolent pup!" Simba snarled. Pumbaa heard that as he turned, only to get the tonic on his hoof. He put it down. "Wicked sewer rat!" Flower cried. "Aha! I got you!" Simba shouted. "You didn't either. You never touched me!" Flower smirked. When Pumbaa licked it off, he was grossed out by the taste. "Oooh!" Pumbaa grimaced, "This tonic does taste nasty." "Take that! And that! And that!" When Flower thrust his sword at Simba, he got it under his arm as if he made it look like he got him. Pretending he was dead, Simba placed a paw over his chest, groaned a fake death groan, and collapsed to the floor. That's when Tulio came into the nursery. "Boys, boys. Less noise, please." Tulio said, without looking where he was going. He knocked the blocks down as Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa heard that, and they had to get them back together as they frowned in annoyance. Simba saw him. "Oh, hello, dad." he said in a normal voice. But Flower was still playing. "You old bilge rat!" Flower cried out. Then Tulio heard that and was insulted. "Wha- wha-what? Now see here, Flower!" "Oh, not you, dad. You see, he's Rei Pan." Simba told him. "And Simba's Professor Ratigan." Flower added. "Yes, yes, of course. Er, have you seen my cuff links?" Tulio asked before he bumped Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa, knocking the blocks down again. "Oh, Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa, for goodness' sake!" Tulio shouted, walking past the annoyed mouse, meerkat, and warthog, "Where are those cuff links?" Tippe smashed the last blocks that were standing with his tails. "Here we go again!" said Timon, rolling his eyes. But Pumbaa only laughed. "Cuff links, dad?" asked Simba. "Yes. The gold ones." Tulio answered, still looking around. "Flower, the buried treasure," Simba whispered to his brother. "Where is it?" "I don't know, Simba." Flower said in an innocent way. "The map then… Where's the treasure map?" Simba whispered. "It got lost." Flower said. While Tulio was looking around the bed, he then spotted something under the covers, he was shocked as he shouted, "Good heavens! My shirt front!" He grabbed his shirt front. "Hurray! You found it! You found it!" Flower cheered. Tulio put it on, as he turned. He didn't know that it got chalk all over his shirt front, the one that looked like the lost map. "Yes, so I have. And hereafter..." As then, Flower came and pulled his shirt front "Don't paw me, Flower! This is my last clean..." It was loose as he has saw something shocking and horrifying. He saw a lost map. "No..." He can't say something, only he covered his shirt front shouting, "NO!" Snow White, now wearing a red bow headband, came in and said, "Tulio dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late." "Snow White! Look!" Tulio said, showing Snow White his shirt front. Snow White saw that and was shocked. "Tulio!" "It's only chalk, papa." Flower said. "Why, Flower..." Snow White was about to say something when Simba cut in. "It's not his fault. It's in the story. And Kilala said..." Simba said. When Tulio heard what Simba said, he now knew what was up. "Kilala? Story? I might have known." He walked to the door as he called out, "KILALA?" He crossed his arms and called out even louder. "KILALA!" Kilala heard him, walked in, and asked, "Yes, father?" "Would you kindly expl-" Tulio was about to say something. But Kilala walked by him when she saw the radiance of Snow White's dress. "Oh, mother! You look simply lovely!" Kilala said. "Thank you, dear." Snow White smiled. Tulio turned to her in annoyance and said, "Kilala..." "Just my old gown made over but it did turn out right. And I-" Snow White was about to say. "Snow White, if you don't mind, I'd..." Tulio said, as Kilala turned and saw his shirt front. "Why, father! What have you done to your shirt?" Kilala asked. Tulio couldn't believe what she was saying. "What have I...?" He then turned and screamed in shame. "AAAAAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Snow White walked to him with a damp washcloth "Now, Tulio, really. It comes right off." She washed off the chalk on his shirt front. "That's no excuse!" He frowned while Kilala, Simba, and Flower were putting the toys away. "Kilala, haven't I warned you? Stuffing the boys' heads with a lot of silly stories." "Oh, but they aren't!" Kilala protested. "I say they are! Professor Rottengan! Rei Sewer rat!" Tulio said. "Rei Pan, father." Kilala told him. "Pan, sewer rat," Tulio shouted, trying to put on collar around his neck. "Poppycock!" "Oh no, father." "Papa, have you ever-" "You don't understand." The children tried to tell him. "ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK!" Tulio shouted, finally getting the collar together. "And let me tell you, this ridiculous..." "Now, Tulio..." Snow White said, about to help him put on his brown vest. "Now, Tulio! Now, Tulio!" He repeated of what Snow White said, while Timon and Pumbaa were almost done helping Tippe put the blocks back up. But they stopped to listen. "WELL, 'NOW, TULIO' WILL HAVE HIS SAY!" He snatched the vest from her and put it on himself, but he did it hastily. "Please, dear." Snow White said, adjusting the vest on him. "Snow White, the child's growing up," As when Tippe picked up two more blocks, he listened very carefully. "It's high time she had a room of her own!" He pointed at the hall as it shocked them all. "Father!" Kilala gasped. "Tulio!" Snow White gasped. "What?!" Simba gasped. "No!" Flower gasped. Tippe dropped all the blocks while he, Timon, and Pumbaa gasped in shock and couldn't believe what they were hearing and what Tulio was doing. "I mean it! Young lady, this is your last night in the nursery!" he said, as Kilala lowered her head in sadness. "And that's my last word on the matter!" He walked away, only to nearly stomp on Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa and tried to get out of the way. Tulio couldn't move around and was ready to fall. And he was losing his steps! Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa moved away, as they fully stopped. But they nearly knocked the blocks again because Tulio bumped into them and knocked them down. Now they must move away before it happens. But Tippe stepped the wagon, rolled back, and fell as Tulio stepped on it and rolled around here. "NO!" And when Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa were rolling by, the wagon made a tear in the rug, and Tulio was sent flying as he yelled, "NO!" And with a large crash, he fell into the dresser, knocking the toys down. Kilala, Simba, Flower, and Snow White were shocked that Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa were against the wall. As for Tulio, he was on the floor in pain, and last of the toys fell on his head, the last was the jack-in-the-box, and up popped the jack, as it stood on his head, which made Tulio mad and annoyed. "Oh!" Kilala, Simba, Flower, and Snow White all said together. Tulio heard them, and knew that they saw him get hurt, and caring of him. So he closed his eyes and waited for them. But suddenly, they ran past him, which made Tulio open his widened eyes in shock. As they ran to Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa, but Tulio. "Poor Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa." They said together again. Tulio couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Poor Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa?" Now he was very angry as he hopped up on his feet when he stomped up and shouted, "This is the last straw!" He pointed his finger out the door shouting, "OUT! OUT, I SAY!" Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa were hugging each other while Flower was clinging onto Pumbaa's tail. "No, papa, no!" Flower pleaded. Tulio grabbed Tippe by the tail while he, Timon, and Pumbaa were still hugging each other and shouted, "YES! There'll be no more flying mice, meerkats, or warthogs for butlers in this house!" Flower grabbed Pumbaa's tail. But Snow White stopped him by picking him up as Tulio was dragging Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa out the room. Flower started to cry as he waved to his friends. "Goodbye, Tippe. Goodbye, Timon. Goodbye, Pumbaa." "Goodbye, Flower!" Timon said cheerfully, as he, Pumbaa, and Tippe waved goodbye back. As Tulio walked out to the back, he muttered to himself, "Poor Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa. Oh yes, poor Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa. But poor father? Oh, no." He let go of Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa and looked for some ropes, and couldn't find any. "Blast it! Where are those ropes?" He turned as he saw Tippe and Pumbaa holding two ropes in their mouths and Timon was holding a rope in his hand. Tulio walked to them and said, "Oh, thank you." As he was tying the ropes to Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa's collars, Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa gave him sad looks. "Oh, boy!" sighed Pumbaa. Tulio saw that and couldn't bear the sight. "Oh, dash it all, you three. D-Don't look at me like that." He walked to the fountain and filled up Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa's dishes. He picked them up and filled them more. "It's nothing personal. It's just that- Well, you're not really butlers at all You're… Well, a flying mouse, a meerkat, and a warthog. And the children aren't baby flying mice, meerkats, or warthogs, they're a human, a lion cub, and a skunk." He placed the water dishes near Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa. "And sooner or later, Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa, like Kilala, Simba and Flower have to grow up." He pet Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa's heads. Inside the house, the kids are in their beds, as Snow White knew that Tulio didn't mean to do that to Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa. Kilala looked depressed. "But mother, I don't want to grow up." she pleaded. "Now dear," Snow White said, as she kissed her on the forehead and covered her up with a pink blanket. "Don't worry about it anymore tonight." As for Simba, he was using a wagon as a bed. "He called Rei Pan 'absolute poppycock'." Simba said to himself after what his dad had said. "I'm sure he didn't mean it, Simba," Snow White said, as she removed the glasses from his eyes and the top hat from his head. "Father was just upset." As for Flower, he was using a dog basket as a bed. He had tears running down his cheeks. "Poor Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa," he sniffled. "out there all alone." "No more tears, Flower. It's a warm night. They'll be all right." Snow White said, as she covered him up with a red blanket, kissed his forehead, and left. Then Flower remembered something. "Mama?" he asked. Snow White turned around and asked, "What is it, dear?" "Buried treasure." Flower had the cuff links that Tulio was looking for, and he gave them to Snow White. "Now, children, don't judge your father too harshly. After all, he really loves you very much." She walked to the window door, and was about to lock it up. But Kilala stopped her as she said, "Oh don't lock it, mother. He might come back." "He?" Snow White asked in a puzzled way. "Yes, Rei Pan. You see, I found something that belongs to him." Kilala said, as she lay down. "Oh, and what's that?" asked Snow White. She yawned and said, "His shadow." "Shadow?" Snow White asked, very surprised. "Mm-hmm. Tippe, Timon, and Pumbaa had it, but I-I took it away." Kilala said, as she drifted off to sleep. "Oh? Yes, of course. Good night, dear." Snow White said, as she turned off the light, walked out, and left for the party. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Peter Pan Category:Peter Pan parodies